Get off my Astral Plane! An interview with Father Gil

By Lily Spellman

Father Gil, a demon-hunting man of God with a heart made of heavy metal and an attitude akin to cotton candy. He's sweet but tough and this exorcist is here to answer your questions and talk about his job, destroying the denizens of hell. In honor of our special live tweeting with director Josh Stifter this past weekend I present you, Daniel Degnan, as father Gil:

Lily: So Father. Please introduce yourself and explain your job

Father Gil: Absolutely. First and foremost thank you for having me. Howdy, good morning, and god bless. My name is Father Gil and I’m a priest at a small parish in the Texas area. Though my sermons are not nearly as renowned as my work in the field of demonology - namely exorcisms and the like. I have traveled the great states performing exorcisms high and low - no demon to small, no fee too high

Lily: Some people might call your methods "unorthodox" or "insane". What is your response to these claims

Father Gil: Ya know, I’ve been called a lot of things in my time and I’ve learned to just put the headphones on and crank the music up louder. Wickedness doesn’t play by any rules so neither can I. Unorthodox is just a four-dollar word for someone who lacks true vision!

Lily: Is it true you once "danced a demon out of a lady like a goddamn blues brother"

Father Gil: Haha. You know the stories are always more grandiose than the realities they inhabit - but to answer your question specifically, that’s exactly how it happened. The devil may have dastardly moves but he has no groove

Lily: Your most recent case has been the subject of some scrutiny after claims of possessed teddy bears and killer phones run rampant. What can you tell us about the inn and the case around it

Father Gil: Yeahhhh.. it was hairier than most of my demonic encounters but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle - it certainly wasn’t any worse than the hell hound infestation at the Anaheim dog show... Not THAT was a ‘hairy situation’ - and that was most certainly dog pun

Lily: Most Excorsists refer to you when things become out of hand, what do you think makes you such a good exorcist?

Father Gil: I think it has something to do with my can-do attitude and my inability to compromise in face of evil - things can get spooky at times but ya gotta just keep grinning and winning

Lily: Top 5 Tunes to Exorcise to?

Father Gil: Oh Lordy.. great question.. in no particular order, I would say:

1. Heaven is a Place on Earth - Belinda Carlisle

2. Push It - Salt-N-Pepa

3. Agorapocalypse Now - Agoraphobic Nosebleed

4. Maneater - Hall & Oates

5. Heretic Polka - Pentagramma (available now at http://pentagramma.bandcamp.com)

And pretty much the entire George Strait discography

Lily: Speaking of dogs, you have recently taken to traveling with others, tell me about your companions

Father Gil: Yes! The flock has grown - so to speak - with the addition of some demon squashing companions. Stanley is a reformed ranchman that is looking to stop the spread of evil in his own weird way, and what he may lack in conventional smarts he makes up for in a whole lotta heart! Maria is a bit more of a loner type but she’s something truly special... she’s got a real gift passed down from the mothers and daughters before her... I don’t know the extent of her otherworldly gifts but we’re finding them out together as one big, dysfunctional family #blessed

Lily: Do you have any advice for those dealing with the paranormal or troubled by a haunting

Father Gil: Absolutely, if you or someone you know comes face to face with a sinister specter or a devilish demihuman - DON’T be a hero, call a professional immediately! In fact, mention this interview by name and receive $10 Off your next possession. But remain calm and let those with the proper training and experience handle the messy work (literally and spiritually). I know it may look like I’m making it up as I go along but it’s only because I’ve been doing it for so long that my efforts appear so effortless and accidental

Lily: Finally id like to finish with a few write-in questions from fans

Father Gil: Sounds great!

Lily: Ditlev Buster Asks "What makes a good exorcist?"

Father Gil: A pure heart and a strong stomach

Lily: John Asks "What is your opinion on pope Francis?"

Father Gil: Well in full disclosure, he is a fan of mine - so naturally I’m flattered and maybe a little biased - but I think he’s a righteous dude (like Ferris Bueller)

Lily: and finally Vincent asks "Have you ever been blinded by the Stanley sunrise"

Father Gil: .......no comment

But I will say there is a strict pants policy that we’ve recently instituted and things are much better now

Lily: Well father Gil id like to thank you for your time and ask if you have any parting words for our readers

Father Gil: Absolutely. It’s been my pleasure and I appreciate all that you do here in the community. To those reading, I say this: Wash your hands, say your prayers, eat your greens, and mind your swears. Follow these simple rules and you yourself will remain too blessed to be possessed in these most trying of times.

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